We all know what a standard wellness account on Instagram looks like, and honestly it wasn’t until Edward Lane created the parody @wellness_ted account that we realized just how strange these pictures really are.
Edward Lane is the proud boyfriend and self proclaimed Instagram Husband to wellness Influencer, Amy Hopkins, also knows as @wellness_ed.
We can see where he got his parody name from.
OM A MISSION // Since joining the upper echelons of Instagram’s wellness influencer community I’d been finding it progressively harder to practice what I preach. A full diary of protein launches, avocado brunches, selfies, workout classes, selfies, gym openings, yoga retreats and selfies had a dramatic effect on my anxiety levels. And despite my online persona, I was struggling for headspace. Which is why I’ve started meditating. It’s a brand new trend. Everyone’s talking about it. Sure, some nerds will tell you it’s been around for 3500 years, but what do they know? Right now it’s one of the hottest wellness trends and I really doubt the yogis of ancient India had iPhone apps (duh) so they clearly weren’t doing it right, anyway! Since checking in with myself for 5 minutes a day my cortisol levels have plummeted and I’m feeling more zen than ever. My advice? Focus on you. Make time for self-love (Gross. Not like that. Perv) because at the end of the day wellness and the route to happiness is about putting yourself ahead of all others. Worried this will come across as selfish? Put a good filter on your pic and people will call it inspiring 😘
6PACK SECRETS // While so-called experts would have you believe this kind of transformation takes months I’ve got some good news – it takes 30secs. Sure transformation plans promise better health, but when you’re thirsty for likes, followers and – let’s be honest – your first #spon post, the sooner those abs pop on screen the better. Well, allow me to share the insider secrets I’ve learnt since becoming the ‘grams hot new #microinfluencer (don’t say I’m not good to you 😉). The trick is to spend hours and hours taking selfies, working out the exact angle and filter (Clarendon, duh!) that best defines your 6-pack. Swap from a T-shirt to sports bra to fool others into thinking you’ve been in the gym. Finally tense so hard that you may or may not fart and take the snap. Post it and watch the praise come in. Because what’s the point getting your body out of strangers on the internet can’t tell you how pretty you look, right? And today I’m feeling pretty! Try it and tag me in so we can all support each other on our own journey.
Aside from the fact that this general parody is hilarious, it is extra funny when you realize that his girlfriend is doing this with the goal to actually become a wellness Influencer.
In many regards, Edward is pulling the wool from over our eyes by showing us how absolutely wild it is to origami yourself into a position for the sole purpose of being able to take a picture of your food by your feet for the aesthetic.
No one is really eating their food this way, and they’re definitely not actively leaving the ingredients spread out on the floor.
GOING PALEO // I’ve started eating like a real cavewoman recently. Going prehistoric rather than eating processed junk has really helped me to stabilise my blood sugar, get more energy and give my workouts a little more BITE. Dinosaur is a muscle building delicacy I can’t recommend more – thankfully high-end delicatessen #bernardmatthews has released its own range to bring it to the masses. Tuck in!
Edward’s personal account has less parody and less of a following, but he still gives us a behind the scenes glimpse at the struggles of Influencer life by showing us what his girlfriend goes through in an attempt to get the perfect shot.
We love his sense of humor, and we can’t help but feel like this is an important account to have, especially in a time when it’s easy to forget that a majority of the Instagram posts we see had far more planning and editing to them than we are aware of.
It also doesn’t hurt that we are thrilled to finally have a ‘fitness‘ account that we can relate to.