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fouseyTube Returns To Instagram With Heartbreaking Post

YouTuber fouseyTube had it all — but a manic episode that came as a result of prematurely going off his meds — caused him to lose everything.  Now he’s returned with a message for his fans.

Towards the end of 2018, fouseyTube shared that he would be leaving his YouTube career behind.  He gave away all his social media accounts and canceled his cell phone plans so friends and family wouldn’t be able to contact him.  He had several public outbursts that concerned fans and fellow vloggers.  During this time, his peers speculated that he was having a manic episode but for fousey, things had never seemed clearer.  Months later, fousey is revealing the truth behind his breakdown and exit from YouTube on Instagram.

View this post on Instagram

This summer I suffered a very public and humiliating manic episode that really flipped my life upside down. I had just come off of my medications for the first time in years and foolishly used adderall as a substitute. What I thought was new found motivation and inspiration was really an out of control manic episode that took control of me and changed my life forever. There’s much to the story that is yet to be explained. I’ve fallen many times in my life. But this year was the first time I actually hit rock bottom. They say that when you hit rock bottom, you experience something magical in your life that is forever life changing. I’ve yet to see the magic it brings. In a single summer, I managed to lose all my money, cars, public respect, self respect, love, worth and even almost my parents home. Most importantly I lost the identity that I had built for myself to mask who I really was since the age of 21. I grew up in my 20’s living and hiding behind a camera. Using social media as a drug to escape from my real problems. I managed to flush a decade worth of work down the toilet and was back to square 1 lower than when I began. Thankfully, I still have family, food and my parents roof over my head. Since the Summer, I have been trying my best to get help. From going on a spiritual journey (only to return early because they felt I wasn’t safe to be alone in my mental state and advised me to fly home to family), countless therapy sessions, getting on and off different medications looking for the right one and even outpatient rehab. I have yet to find my resolve. Even writing this, I am not in the right mental state nor healthy enough to be on social media. I am still on the path to recovery, with no end date in sight. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ All in all, I’m posting this to say I am very grateful for 2018 to be over. Enough has happened in my life publicly and even more behind the scenes where my prayers are for nothing new to creep into 2019. To anyone struggling and battling their own demons, just know you’re not alone. Life is a constant battle of ups and downs and the key is..well I don’t know the key yet.. but there is a key. Happy New Years. ❤️

A post shared by Yousef Erakat (@fousey) on

fousey shared that he stopped taking his prescribed medication and started abusing Adderall.  He sadly reveals that he lost his money, career, and reputation because of his public meltdown.  Although he still doesn’t feel that he is in the right mental state to jump back into vlogging, he is on the right track.

“I have yet to find my resolve. Even writing this, I am not in the right mental state nor healthy enough to be on social media. I am still on the path to recovery, with no end date in sight.”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Although it might be hard to pick back up where he left off career-wise, the YouTuber shares that he’s prioritizing things that are more important in life such as his family and friends.  He also offers a word of advice for those suffering from similar issues.

“All in all, I’m posting this to say I am very grateful for 2018 to be over. Enough has happened in my life publicly and even more behind the scenes where my prayers are for nothing new to creep into 2019. To anyone struggling and battling their own demons, just know you’re not alone. Life is a constant battle of ups and downs and the key is..well I don’t know the key yet.. but there is a key. Happy New Years.”

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